My ex-girlfriend loves me so much that even 7 months after our breakup she still
By steven-pope · September 9, 2026 · Curated by George's Blog
My ex-girlfriend loves me so much that even 7 months after our breakup she still sets me up with appointments.
Every week she carefully selects 7 restaurants and makes reservations.
I never have to set up Drs appointments because she is so thoughtful that she arranges a weekly blood draw, teledoc, chiropractor, massage, HIV screenings (you can never be too careful)
Sometimes I forget to do my weekly blood draw but luckily Quest Diagnostics hasn't suspended me after missing 27 blood draws
I've also benefited from some interesting programs like Pride at Sea cruises and ayahuasca with shamans
It's a part of me I never knew I needed.
I've also discovered hundreds of new magazines, newspapers, and newsletters.
Sometimes she gets too excited tho and I get 3 reservations for the same night, and then I ask Siri to pick which restaurant sounds best.
I usually forget to cancel my missed dinners but luckily Open Table hasn't suspended my account, even after 183 missed reservations
She loves me so much she tried to help me move on by enrolling me with 23 matchmakers
And she even messaged all my new neighbors at my new home to make sure I was welcomed to the neighborhood properly
But what I'm thankful for the most is all the missionaries she sent to my house, I never would have met such great people than the Scientologists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists
I am leaning towards sticking with my faith but Buddhism is my new backup system
So who needs personal assistants when you have loving ex-girlfriends?