giving people everything they need is actually the *worst* thing you can do for
By Sophie Miller · April 16, 2026 · Curated by George's Blog
giving people everything they need is actually the *worst* thing you can do for a community - stay with me, I've got a point.
over-deliver, over-resource, over-produce and the thinking goes: if you give enough, loyalty follows.
and there's truth in that.
but i think we massively what happens when people stop being recipients and start being participants.
→ because "for" creates dependency.
→ "with" creates belonging.
↳ and belonging is what makes a community worth staying in.
think about the communities you've felt most at home in - i'd bet it wasn't because someone did an incredible job of delivering things to you.
it's because at some point, you had a role, you contributed something, you were part of what made it good.
right?
REFY co-creating campaigns with their customers and advocates, rhode skin sending unreleased products to top customers and creators for real testing before launch, Sprout Social, Inc. Social running a Substack written by other marketers and creators - not their own team, Circle's community report written *with* and by creators, rather than a white paper dressed up as community thinking with a CTA to subscribe at the bottom.
none of these are complicated ideas: they're just choices. choices to pull people in rather than perform at them.
most brands and community builders don't do it - not because they can't, but because it requires trusting your community enough to hand them the mic.
which brings me to something we've been building inside the Pretty Little Marketer membership: our community council, six members who aren't just inside the community, they're helping shape what it becomes:
→ Valeria hosting our monthly co-work sessions
→ Nefise keeping every member up to date with the latest notes and resources from every session and webinar
→ Amy, Sonia and Dayana each leading a brand new community group (B2B marketers, freelancers, and personal brand builders)
→ Annie-Mai hosting our quarterly trend talk calls
and don't get it twisted, 'with' isn't a cheat code to you to wind up doing less: the best communities aren't built by one brilliant person delivering endlessly to many, they're built by many people, each bringing something the others couldn't.
that's how belonging works.
💕✨🫶