This has made me an absolute loser recently
By George Barnett Reid 👀 · January 19, 2023 · Curated by George's Blog
This has made me an absolute loser recently
11 steps to make your coffee experience less enjoyable and infinitely more infuriating:
1) Buy fancier coffee machine. Any will do. As long as it's more complex than one button.
2) But fancier beans. Any will do. As long as they're more expensive than the shit pods you've been buying before and provide ample opportunity for waste.
3) Make yourself a coffee. F*ck it up straight away. Get your first wave of anger.
4) Visit YouTube. Other channels are available. Watch endless supply of video shorts on how to make coffee. Terms like calibrate, tamp, grind, pressure, time, ratio, etc.
5) Try again. See marginal, if any, improvement.
6) Visit YouTube. Search for accessories. That'll help. It's not you.
7) Visit Amazon. Buy accessories. Have mindset "this will solve everything".
8) Whilst waiting for delivery, pour a couple of good coffees but have no idea why. Start messaging friends saying the shop is open.
9) Enjoy your coffee station levelling up with the new gear. Proceed to pour bad coffees for no reason whatsoever.
10) Start researching local barista courses and genuinely consider getting a job for one day a week at a cafe. My gf's Dad always said learn a new skill when someone else is paying for your mistakes.
11) Repeat most of the above.
#itsalwaysdayone